Happy Sunday! What’s everyone up to this weekend?
I have officially changed decades! I turned 30 on Thursday! It was an amazing birthday- including a surprise party the day afterwards that completely took me by surprise.
For my actual birthday, I took the day off and spent the day doing things I enjoy. I watched some “Sex and the City”, enjoyed the nice weather, and reflected all the things I think I’ve learnt in the past 30 years.
So for today’s post, I’ve put together a list of a few things I’ve learnt in the past 30 years:
- Few good friends are better than tons of acquaintances– In high school, I so badly wanted to be popular, and for everyone to like me. In Grade 12, I started to be invited to the popular kids parties, and I was so excited. However, after graduation, I never spoke to any of them again. When I was in University, I made new friends, which included making 3 great friends. Our lives have gone different ways since then, including one friend moving to Australia, and me moving to the UK. There has been marriage, kids, break-ups and career changes over the past 12 years. Yet, through it all, we’ve stayed friends. I know that I could call any of them up tomorrow, and they would be there for me. I would rather spend time with any one of them, then be the most popular person at the party.
- Not everyone will like you, and there’s nothing you can do about it– Last week, I posted a photo on instagram, commenting that I was “Contemplating the end of my 20’s with the best view”. About an hour later, I saw a facebook status from a girl I used to work with, stating “I’m sorry- but who cries about turning 30”. Now, perhaps it wasn’t about me, but the timing seemed just a bit too perfect. I started writing about 3 different responses to this- how I wasn’t crying, how dare she judge, etc. But then I thought about it, and I realised that by responding to that message, I would achieve nothing. She had judged my post in her own way, and there was nothing I could do about it. Letting it go is something I wouldn’t have been capable of doing even a couple of years ago, but was very freeing to do now.
- Life can be hard, and there will be struggles, but you’ll be a better person for them- Moving to the UK was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Moving and then going through a break-up was very isolating, and I struggled to get through it. However, I did get through it. And I came out of it with a stronger sense of who I am, and what I am capable of. I never would’ve gained that knowledge had I not first gone through those struggles.
- Let it Go- Frozen musical aside, this is so important. Whether it’s past mistakes, guilt, bad habits- let it go. I try and remember that I can always change what I don’t like going forward, but I can’t change my past. I remember that I did my best in the past, and stop beating myself up over past mistakes.
- Getting older is not a bad thing– I think our society is particularly bad for making us feel like if you’re not young, then life is over. However, if a magical fairy came up to me tomorrow and offered to let me go back to being 20- I honestly don’t think I would. I’m very happy with how I’ve spent my twenties, and have had great opportunities. And while I loved living my twenties, I’m ready for the future and what my 30’s will bring.
- No one is responsible for my happiness but me- It always bugs me when couples describe each other as making each other happy. I think that puts a lot of pressure on the other person. I think we’re all responsible for our own happiness. I try and put aside time to do things that make me happy. Then, Assen, my friends and family, all just build on the happiness that I’ve already created. This allows me to be selfish with how I spend my own time (sometimes being guilty of painting my nails rather than cleaning the bathroom), and it takes the burden off of me trying to create happiness for others as well!
- I don’t have to be perfect– This one was hard for me. But thankfully, this one is finally starting to sink in. I can be grumpy, bitchy, happy, or anything else. I make mistakes, and sometimes- I don’t learn from them and have to make them again. Sometimes I don’t make the bed, or clean my house, or I forget to return a text for far too long. And that’s ok. I do my best, and that’s all I expect from me.
- Possessions are replaceable- I love to have nice things- a nice house, clothing, decorations. And when I lived in Canada, I had all those nice, modern things. But when I moved to the UK, I left it all behind. Originally, I was going back to Canada in 18 months, and thought I’d come back for all the nice things I had accumulated. After a change of plans, I’ve obviously stayed in the UK- and I have no idea what happened to most of the things. Now I spend my money on travels and experiences- and although sometimes I’m tempted to buy nice things, I know that I’m much happier with a trip somewhere new than a pretty dress. My possessions don’t fulfill me, so I worry less about buying the best items.
- Health is #1 importance- I think we’re all guilty of taking our health for granted. It’s not until something goes wrong, that you appreciate how you normally feel on a day to day basis. I try and take good care of myself- sleep enough, eat well, and exercise. I’ve recently started walking to work (it’s about a 5 km walk each way), and usually during my walk I’ll end up thinking of my Grandma. She’s 89, and so frail that she can barely get out of bed, never mind go for a walk outside. Thinking of her makes me feel so grateful for my health and all the things that my body allows me to do!
How about everyone else? What have I missed that you’ve learnt in your years? I’d love to hear everyone’s wisdom- whether you’re 5 or 95 🙂